Congratulate me....

*SPOILERS ALERT: Alfred Hitchcock's Shadow of a Doubt-reveals ending for the film*

Congratulate me, I have finally finished Youth In Revolt by C.D.Payne! Finishing such a large book inspired me to treat myself to my favorite Hitchcock, Shadow Of A Doubt(1943-
Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten and Macdonald Carey). While I was watching the special features, Alfred Hitchcock was responding to a question about why Teresa Wright's character turned against her uncle, who had committed a series of horrible crimes, yet she him loved dearly. He quoted Oscar Wilde; "...each man kills the thing he loves..."

This hit me, and changed my point of view on Youth In Revolt almost completely. Instead of hating Nick Twisp for doing the stupid things he does for love, I understand that we all end up harming the thing we love most; either as dramatically as Nick Twisp to his family or as lightly as over talking to your friends about your new favorite band and then they ended up hating them. This seems very human, it has happened to me so often, maybe this is the objective of the novel. Perhaps the author C.D.Payne made Nick Twisp do the awful things he does to his family, to show the reader how we as humans affect our surroundings. To show how we SHOULD respect the things we love. Or even maybe Payne made N.Twisp do awful things and to ruin his own life, to show how we should appreciate our lives. The story of Nick Twisp will always puzzle me, and I fear I will never be able to fully appreciate the novel.

Have you ever killed something you love(metaphorically)?

AFTER THOUGHTS-yet another interpretation of Oscar Wilde's brilliance:
"...each man kills the thing he loves..."
Perhaps, the man who loves this thing the most has-almost-permission to end it, or kill it so to speak...Only because he knows so much and loves it so...Your thoughts?

When Should We Stop Watching, And Start Living?

I know this is sinful, but I haven't read at all this week! The largeness of Youth In Revolt by C.D.Payne intimidates me, and causes me to run away from the book instead of reading it. But this weekend I was thinking about it while my family and I were driving to see my cousins. I have come up with a question; When Should We Stop Watching, And Start Living? My question breaks down into these other questions: How does one view and interact with the world? What is considered 'living'?

I come from a family of watchers. My mom is a photographer and has a certain view of the world and shes not afraid to express how much she likes or dislikes something. She often shows me what a great photograph would look like, and describes why. I have odd memories of my mom and I moving slowing into the shadow covered park, taking in each and every small blade of grass and making it a pretend photograph and framing it in between our fingers. I still do that now, except I do it in my head. I look at the world through a specific lens; one that automatically creates a story, composition, contrast, and beauty in the world around me. This does not nessicarily make me a "good" artist, instead an avid viewer of this world. This also causes me to think too much, and psychoanalyze things. If I am brought up with an opportunity, I am likely to think too much, and then the moment passes when I have reached a decision.

Nick Twisp, the narrator of the story, is also a watcher. He never really speaks back, or does anything daring, or hangs out with new people. But when he meets Sheeni, he suddenly changes. She dares Nick to be "bad", and start living. But what is considered living? I would say doing what you love. So if he doesn't enjoy being bad, why should he? Why should we change for someone else? Should we stop being ourselves, and become the person our significant other wants us to be? I believe not. We are who we are, and I'm not sure if Nick Twisp is doing the right thing. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, you shouldn't change.

What if watching is your form of living, like me and Nick?

Then I would say keep watching.

"Every Revolution Needs A Leader"

I am currently enjoying the extremely dirty thoughts and words of Nick Twisp, the narrator of Youth In Revolt by C.D.Payne. Nick Twisp is a 14 year old boy, living in California, trying to loose his virginity and impress his girl. To impress, he must act as devilishly rebellious as possible. He burns cars and scares his parents, he lies uncontrollably and scares his friend's parents, he runs away and occasionally does drugs. While reading this story, I started questioning what is rebellion and is rebelling the only way to truly live?

According to Google, rebellion is "refusal to accept some authority or code or convention". According to the Canadian band, Arcade Fire's song Rebellion(Lies) being rebellious is doing things that aren't good, then lying and keeping it from others. According to BBC, rebellion is " often symbolic. They want to look grown up and impress their friends." To further explain, BBC explains taking risks: " teenagers have well-developed emotions and feelings but have still not acquired the ability to think things through."

If you never act out, and never do anything against the rules for all of your life, are you wasting your life?

I believe that wasting your life, has nothing to do with your level of rebelliousness, but your level of happiness.

Are you happy doing what you are doing?